Thursday, March 10, 2016

Stuck

Whew, it's been a whirlwind around here lately. Everyone is so busy and running in a million different directions. I keep thinking things will slow back down, but it never seems to.

After making so much progress with all my life goals lately, I've been feeling a little stuck this past week. The weight loss has been going great, I've lost 13 pounds, but then I plateaued and I just keep gaining and losing the same pound. That happens sometimes and I know it will pass, but it really frustrates me. I took a couple of cheat days out of frustration and I know that doesn't help matters. I feel back on track and I'm going to push through it, but I've hit a bit of a low spot this week.

And math seems to be the same. I have absolutely loved this math class all semester up until recently.  I've learned a ton and I've been so proud of myself for doing things that I never thought I could. But now we're deep into algebra and I'm SOOO burned out. We're getting into the stuff that I failed in high school and I'm remembering why I failed it the first time, lol. And really, I'm doing fine, I'm actually getting a good grade in the class, but I'm struggling a bit to keep on top of it. I really struggle with algebra. I'm doing better at it than I ever have in my life and I'm amazed at how much I've learned, but I'm starting to count down the days until it's over. My life is consumed by algebra lately. The class is really fast paced and moves on quickly to a new concept each week and each week I struggle just a bit more to keep up. Shawn and Josh are tutoring me, which is the only way I'm getting through it. Thank goodness for them, they have been a lifesaver to me this semester. There are only four more classes left, three more weeks of class work and then the final, so the end is in sight. I'll make it and it will be fine, but I'm kind of limping to the finish line. I'm honestly so glad that I took this class, because finally confronting my fear of math has been great for me, but I'm ready for it to be over. I'm just burned out and exhausted. I can not solve for X one more time. Can't do it. I'm tired.

This class is over the first part of April and then I have a week or so off and then I start English. Finally, a class I'm good at! We'll be doing a lot of writing. I can totally handle that. That class goes until the end of July and then this year long program is over and I will graduate with a certificate, which basically means nothing except that I completed the program. But I will earn 15 credits from the year and completing the program makes me eligible for automatic acceptance into the college so I can start working on my bachelors. So starting in September I'll be going full time online, taking classes towards a bachelors in marriage and family studies. That should take me two or three years and when that's done I'll hopefully be applying to grad school to get my Masters in Marriage and Family Counseling, which will take me another three years.

So I still have a long way to go. But right now my focus is just making it through another four weeks of math. I can do it. I'm pretty sure I can do it. I don't really have any choice but to just push through it and get it done. Four more weeks. I just have to make it through four more weeks.