Friday, September 19, 2014


It was a fun day of friends for all the kids. Clarissa's best friend came home from school with her today and spent the afternoon at our house. They are SO ridiculously cute together. Listening to their conversations cracks me up. They're just so sweet and they play so well together. Those two are practically joined at the hip.

I sent them outside to play for a while and after a bit they called to me to come see what they made. Thy had done a huge chalk mural on the steps. The colors were actually really pretty, it looked cool, but they were completely covered in chalk. They came in the house and there was literally a chalk cloud swirling around them, lol. So I had to take them out back and hose them down a bit and I had them change clothes so they could come back in the house without covering my whole house in chalk. It was pretty funny, they had an awesome time. 

Here is a picture of them with their chalk creation. I just love them! 

Then the boys came home from school and decided to celebrate pirate day at Krispy Kreme. It's national talk like a pirate day, and anyone who goes into Krispy Kreme dressed like a pirate gets a free box of donuts. Free donuts kind of blew my kids minds, so they went to work putting together pirate costumes. They called a friend to come with them and that friend called a friend and the group kept getting bigger. Josh has a new girl who is his friend but isn't his girlfriend, and he texted her to see if she wanted to come and she met them there with her two brothers. So it ended up being this big fun group going in to Krispy Kreme to get their free donuts. So fun! 

Here's their group:

Once they got in there they saw even more people they know, so it really ended up being a fun afternoon for them. Josh ate so many donuts I can't believe he's not puking! Oh, the joys of being a teenager and being able to eat whatever you want. :) 

So it was a fun friend filled day for my kids. Seeing them enjoying time with their friends makes me happy! 

Thursday, September 11, 2014

High school

So last night was back to school night at the high school. It was an opportunity for the parents to go to each of their kids classrooms and meet their teachers and hear a little bit about what they'll be doing this year. I've done elementary school and middle school back to school nights a million times now and I know everything there is to know about those schools, but I'm was kind of excited to go to the high school BTS night for the first time and see what's happening over there.

It's an interesting experience because they give you your child's schedule and you pretty much follow it through their school day, tying to find their classes before the bell rings. I was totally late getting there because traffic was bad (Josh told me I should have gotten detention for my tardy, lol) so I missed the opening welcome thing from the principal and then Josh has a religious class off campus first period, so I ended up rushing to get there and then sitting for a bit since there was was no meet the teacher thing for his first class.

But then things got moving and I made it to his second period class. It's a super cool art class and I really liked his teacher. He reminded me a bit of the hippy counselor on Freaks and Geeks. You know that guy? He sings to the class and gets really excited about their creative flow, lol. He was cool, I could totally take an art class from that guy.

The thing that I picked up on from all his teachers last night was how excited they are to be teaching there. It's a really unique college prep high school full of overachievers who have chosen to be there and it's just such an amazing environment. The kids are all excited to learn, which makes the teachers excited to teach, which makes the learning environment so much more enjoyable. I've met some teachers in my day who just look totally beaten down by the public school system. They come out of  college so excited to teach and change the world and after years of discipline problems and kids who don't want to learn, they burn out. These teachers all seemed so excited and enthusiastic.

I went to his english class and seriously, sitting in that room made me want to go back to college SO bad. I always loved english when I was in school and his english teacher is really dynamic and interesting. The classes last night were just ten minutes long but that guy totally had my attention. They're doing To Kill a Mockingbird this year, which I'm really excited about. They'll be doing Hemingway and Shakespeare and I had this moment where I was all "Yay, we're doing Hemingway?!" And then I was all "oh, right, I don't go to this school." lol I'm totally going to read along with Josh. I'm excited to read To Kill A Mockingbird with him and discuss it.

Because it's a college prep school and their junior and senior years are essentially college classes, they cram all four years of high school into the first two years. So I discovered last night that his history class this year is actually sophomore and junior history crammed into one year during their freshman year. They still learn all the same things but because they're all honors kids, they can get through it a lot faster. So if he quit this school after the end of this year and went back to regular high school (which he's not going to do) he would actually already have his sophomore and junior history requirements met. It's a really intense pace, but he likes things like that.

So getting to go to all of his classes was really cool and made me really excited for what he'll be doing this year. I adore that school and I feel so lucky that it's an option for him. It's kind of a big deal for me that he's there because I finally feel like we have him where he needs to be.

I know it's just a big old mom brag, and I don't mean it to be, but Josh is a kid who taught himself to read at three, was writing poetry at five, wrote a 22 page autobiography at six and has basically been chomping at the bit to learn since he could speak. You would think that would make for a very easy kid to raise, but actually not. I have really struggled a lot over the years about what to do with him. We took him to a psychologist when he was six to have him tested because I needed to know what we were dealing with to decide what to do about schooling and he tested at a sixth grade level in reading and writing in Kindergarten. I remember his Kindergarten teacher apologizing to me that she really didn't feel like she was teaching him anything. If she ever had to leave the room for something she would hand a book to Josh and have him read to the class while she was gone, lol.

This has been a bit of a struggle throughout his schooling. School has always been really easy for him. In middle school he would get his work done so fast that he would always ask his teachers if he could go to the library where he's been working on writing a novel and he would work on his video projects. In math his teacher would have him tutoring the ESL kids because she couldn't keep him busy. He's the kind of kid who will make sure that he's busy no matter what, but school has always been a bit frustrating for him, and that has been hard to watch because I have questioned myself for years over whether there was something more I should had done. It has been a tricky situation.

So now here he is at this school that goes at a crazy fast pace and they pile on hours of homework a night and there are almost no electives and he is THRILLED! And I am thrilled because finally I'm not worried about him anymore. I finally know that this is where he needs to be. It's kind of a weird moment as a mom that I'm hugely relieved that school is hard for my kid, lol.  He comes home happy and excited and he is challenged and it's going to be hard for him and he WANTS it to be hard, and I want it to be hard. I want it to kick his behind, because school should challenge you, especially a kid like him who has been desperately seeking a challenge. His days of easy A's are over, and I'm excited to see him working hard for his grades. This is going to be a very different experience for him. He's a little fish in a big pond now and that's actually a good thing. He will be challenged to keep up and he needs that. If all goes well he will graduate high school with his college associates degree, and that will be a major accomplishment. I'm excited for what lies ahead for him.

In his spare time he has signed up for the academic decathlon team at the school (which they call Acadeca), which is like quiz bowl. They're given a topic for the year, this year it's renewable energy or something like that, and then each member of the team takes a specific area of study and researches the crap out of it. Then they go against other schools and there is a regional and state tournament and then a national tournament. There aren't many freshman on the team, so this is kind of a learning year for him, but I'm excited to see what he does with that in the coming years. Doing research in your spare time and going up against other smart kids to see who is smarter is what qualifies as sport at that school, lol. Also, like half the school is on the debate team, which makes me laugh. Josh isn't doing debate, but I guess the group is huge. That's what these kids do for fun. And I love that.

So I know that was a lot of blah blah blah mom brag, and I know that it's not interesting to anyone but me, but I like to write these kinds of things down for my kids. I want to look back and remember these days and the big moments and exciting achievements in my kids lives, and I want them to read it some day and know how exited I am for them and how proud I am of them. The best part of being a mom is watching your kids grow and succeed and watching them spread their wings and fly.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Happy birthday Shawn!!

Today is Shawn's birthday. And in typical White family fashion, we're basically on day four of the celebration, lol. This past weekend we had a Shawn weekend and he picked all the activities for the weekend. There was a Dr. Who Marathon, a large breakfast, a Wii tournament....we had all sorts of fun.

Then today on his actual birthday we decided to go to a movie. We have started a fun tradition with the boys that whenever a movie comes out that is based on a book, we all read the book and then go see the movie. Our latest book was The Giver. Josh had to read it for school last year and really enjoyed it and the rest of us read it this past week. Actually, I read it this afternoon. I've been so busy that I haven't had a lot of reading time, so this afternoon I crammed the whole thing in in one sitting. It's not a long book, thank goodness!

We all really enjoyed the book and were excited to see the movie. When we got to the theater we were the only people there. It's super fun to watch a movie in an empty theater. It felt like we got our own private screening. We had a great time and really enjoyed the movie. It was different from the book, but different in a good way. I liked it. The next book on our book/movie list is Maze Runner. I'm excited to read and see that one!

Then we came home for cake and ice cream. German chocolate, Shawn's favorite. The birthday extravaganza isn't over yet. Friday night the two of us are going out to his favorite restaurant for dinner. Birthday celebrations go on for days in this house, lol.

So hopefully it has been a fun birthday week for Shawn. I love him and I hope he knows how much we appreciate him. He has been working so much this past month that he really needed to take a break and do something fun.

Happy birthday Shawn! :)

Thursday, August 28, 2014


Today is the first day that I feel like we're finally getting the hang of the new schedules and routine around here. With everyone at new schools, it has been tricky getting used to what time everyone is coming and going. There are new school start times, different bus stops, everything is very different than it was last school year. This past week has been tricky trying to keep track of it and make sure everyone gets where they need to go. Yesterday Mathew's piano teacher called and wanted to change his piano lesson time and he asked me what time Matthew gets home from school. I was like a deer in the headlights with the very simple question, lol. I had no idea, I couldn't remember. There is just too much new information in my head right now and I'm having trouble keeping it all straight.

When I have stress in my life, it tends to manifest itself in really bizarre dreams. Last night I had a dream that we had to take Clarissa back to Korea. Like she had been on loan all this time but Korea needed her back now. We went to drop her off and suddenly I realized that we had to give her back for good and I was panicking and begging them to let us keep her. I pulled out my cellphone and frantically tried to show them photos of how happy she is in our family to try to convince them to let us keep her. It was awful. They did decide to let us keep her, and then we ended up on some crazy tour of Korea that made no sense.

Then I had a dream that I woke up and realized that during the night I had sent some racy text messages to an old boyfriend, like sleep walking only sleep texting, I guess, and I was completely horrified when I realized what I had done.

I seriously woke up this morning and it took me a moment to orient myself and realize that I did NOT send racy text messages to anyone and that Clarissa wasn't going back to Korea. Whew. It was a weird night.

But this morning I got everyone off to school and I feel like I have a better handle on my day. We're getting used to the routine and every day is a little less hectic than the last. But now that summer is over and everyone is back to school I feel like I have a million projects that I was putting off until summer was over. I came back in the house after getting Clarissa on the bus this morning and I just had this moment of "oh crap, where do I start?". All summer I've kind of been putting projects on the back burner and telling myself that I would deal with it when the kids went back to school. Well, guess what, the time is here, and now I've left myself a mess of things to do. It's possible that I shouldn't have put it all off. Why do I do that to myself?

So I have a million things to keep myself busy for a while. Life keeps plowing forward, I guess. It has been a very interesting experience watching life change around me over the past several months. All three kids left their old schools, my mom moved to Malaysia, Shawn's pharmacy moved and all three kids started a new chapter of their schooling. And through it all, I remained the same. Nothing changed for me. I felt like the eye of the hurricane, with everything swirling around me. I mean, in a way, I guess everything changed for me. I had to adapt to everyone else's changes, and that affected me.  But everyone else is in new places, learning new things, adapting to new surroundings, and I'm And maybe I'm a bit envious of everyone's change. As much as I say I hate change, I wouldn't mind an occasional change of scenery. I try to shake things up in my life occasionally, but in the end, it's still just me, doing my same thing.

I had a very eye opening conversation recently with a new friend about going back to college. Going back to college sounds absolutely terrifying to me. But also, incredibly exciting. I have a million reasons why going back to school is a really dumb idea. It's really expensive and I don't know if I could afford it, I'm worried about whether I'd be able to keep up, I feel too old, I'm not even sure I would want to give up being a stay at home mom even if I had career potential, and just the logistics of juggling school and kids feels impossible to me. But also...sometimes I imagine myself back in school, doing the things I wished I had done two decades ago, using my brain, having stimulating discussions about things I love, and that sounds amazing. Like, really, really amazing.

So I've been having a mental debate with myself lately. I have no idea which side is going to win. Change is terrifying for me. Sometimes it seems a lot easier to stick with what I know and just keep plugging along doing the things I've always done. My life is stable, I like being home for my kids, and there is no need for me to shake any of that up. But there is that little part of me...

So that's what's on my mind lately. So much change and inner turmoil. This year has just been full of change, and for someone who is always in my head the way I am, it has been a lot to process. This has officially been the year of change, and I guess my role in it all has just been to try to keep up. And I'm just doing the best to manage the hurricane that is swirling around me.

Monday, August 25, 2014

First day of school!

Today was the first day of school for Josh and Matthew. Big changes this year with Matthew moving up to middle school and Josh moving up to high school. I think I was more nervous than they were this morning! I watched the clock all day waiting for them to come home and tell me how it went.

And fortunately, it went great for both of them! They found their classes, found some friends and there were no major problems. Whew.

Here are their annual first day of school photos!

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Still sick :(

This is the worst time for me to be sick, but it doesn't seem to be letting up. I have pretty much had no voice for three days. I sound terrible. It feels like I'm swallowing glass every time I swallow. I was up all night because swallowing kept waking me up. Then when I did sleep I kept having the most bizarre dreams. I had a dream that we went on vacation and Josh got lost and ended up staying in another hotel but when we went to get him he wasn't there and no one knew where he had gone. I hate dreams like that. I woke up in a panic about Josh being gone and had to calm myself back down. And my cat was super excited that someone was awake in the middle of the night, so he decided it was a good time for us to bond, and as much as I love the cats, I don't really want to play with them so much at three in the morning. It was a long night.

So I'm on day three of rearranging my plans so I can sit here and be sick. I think my kids are enjoying the fact that mom can't talk so much, lol.

Thankfully after working for the past three Saturdays in a row, Shawn is off this Saturday so he can help me finish up the rest of the back to school stuff. I still need to go shoe shopping with Matthew.

One fun thing I have failed to mention is that we have a puppy in our lives now. Well sort of, lol. Our next door neighbors are a retired couple who travel a lot and Josh has been their cat sitter for a few years when they go on vacation. He has gotten to know them really well and he does a great job pet sitting for them. Well, a few weeks ago they came home from one of their trips with a new puppy! I think he's half black lab and half boarder collie. I think. Something like that. He pretty much looks like a fluffy black lab. He's super cute! And now Josh has been spending the past couple of weeks being trained in puppy care so he can take care of him while they're out of town. He's been going over there every day so he can get used to the puppy and get used to how to care for him while they're away.

They're getting ready to leave, so while they're gone Josh is on puppy duty, but he starts school next week, so I'll be helping out too. I love dogs but Shawn has always been adamantly against getting one, so I've been joking that now we can dog share with the neighbors, and because they're gone so much, they're kind of good with that actually. They've encouraged us to let him play in our yard, take him on walks, etc. It's kind of all the fun parts of having a dog, but he lives next door and we can take him home when we need a puppy break!

So once I'm feeling better I'm excited to have some puppy time. Clarissa's afternoon bus stop is in a different place than her morning stop and requires a short walk though the neighborhood behind us. So I think I might start taking the dog with me on my walk to pick her up. I've actually always wanted a dog to walk. I'm kind of excited to have a dog in our life, even if it really belongs to the neighbors. :)

So that's what I'm looking forward to when I'm feeling better. But for now I am going to take some Tylenol, lay here and attempt to swallow without wanting to cry. Ugh. :(

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

The good and the bad

First of all, I owe Josh an apology. While I was having my back to school rant yesterday I forgot to mention that we actually did have fun at the mall buying pants yesterday! We bought pants and then went to Orange Julius and The pretzel place. That was actually super fun. I love hanging out with my boys. Thank you Josh, for reminding me to focus on the positive. :)  I took this picture yesterday. I love my kids!!

Second, Shawn took the boys to get their hair cut this afternoon and they stopped by the middle school so Matthew could practice opening his locker again and put his school supplies in it so he doesn't have to bring them all the first day. Shawn just texted me this picture and it made me cry!

I'm super emotional about all these changes! Josh has spent the past three years at that middle school and now he's back there helping Matthew as he starts his middle school journey. He helped him figure out how to use his lock and set up his locker shelf and showed him around and gave him advice. Matthew is lucky to have a great big brother to show him the ropes. I was so nervous when Josh started middle school because we had no idea what to expect. With Josh to guide Matthew it's much less nerve wracking. 

So those are the good things that are happening. Unfortunately, in the midst of all of this, I managed to get sick. :( I had a sore throat yesterday but ignored it. Today my voice is almost completely gone, my body hurts and I feel terrible. Ugh. So I had to cancel my plans for today and rearrange some things so I could spend the day sitting here and feeling crappy. I really don't have time for this. Let's hope it passes quickly!