I haven't posted for a few days because I can't think of anything to post about. It's actually been really boring around here lately!
I did go to the dentist this morning for my six month checkup. I've been looking forward to this day for the past six months because I remember when I made the appointment back in May the first thing I thought was that the next time I had to go to the dentist we'd be a lot closer to the adoption being done. And now here we are and we ARE a lot closer the the adoption being done! Yay! I made my next six month appointment today. I go back in May. I wonder what will be happening the next time I go to the dentist. Maybe by some miracle I'll have to reschedule it because we'll be picking up Clarissa! At the very least I should have photos of her by then and a pretty good idea of when she'll be home. I can't WAIT to go back to the dentist! :)
A friend of mine who is adopting domestically just found out this weekend that they've been picked by a birth mother and they have a son due in six weeks! I'm so happy for their family. They already have two adopted sons, so I think one more boy will fit right in. The more I am around adoptive families and the more I see how much adoption blesses so many people's lives the more sure I am of our decision to adopt. It really is a wonderful thing.
I tend to have a lot of ups and downs about the whole adoption process. Sometimes I'm just super excited to think about her getting here and I enjoy thinking about what it will be like, and other times I'm just really tired of waiting and the more I think about it the harder it is to wait. Knowing that she's probably been born and is out there being taken care of by someone else is hard. I think we all have our own ideas of how our kids should be taken care of when they're newborns, and it's hard to know that I don't have any say in that.
Is she being held enough? Are they singing to her and giving her pretty music to listen to? Are they creating good sleep habits for her? Are they talking to her and smiling at her and loving her to pieces the way I would if she were here? I hope so. I've never heard a single bad thing about Korean foster parents. They really are wonderful people. I just wish I could be there for her first bath and her first smile. I wish I could be with her for her first Christmas. I probably won't get to see the first time she sits up by herself, hear her first word or watch her crawl for the first time. That's hard. Knowing I have a child out there that I can't see or touch is a weird feeling. I feel a connection to her even though I don't know who she is yet. I just feel like someone is missing from our family and someone is missing from my life.
The time will come. One of these days I'm going to be rocking her to sleep and kissing her face and hearing her call me mom. That will be a really good day.