It's 2:30am in Korea right now.
Somewhere out there there is a foster mother watching over our sweet little Clarissa as she sleeps. I wonder if she gave her a warm bath tonight. I wonder if Clarisssa was rocked to sleep and sung a lullaby. I wonder if there is someone there to smell her sweet baby smell and snuggle with her and make her smile. I hope that she's warm, I hope that she's safe and I hope that she feels loved.
Somewhere out there there is also a birth mother, grieving for the baby she couldn't keep. I wonder if she's lying in bed right know wondering who is taking care of her baby, just like I am. I don't know why she chose to place her for adoption, and I don't know if I'll ever know, but I do know that she must be hurting right now. I hope that she has peace. I hope that there is someone there to hug her and tell her that it's going to be OK. I wish that she could know how loved Clarissa already is and how much I will always appreciate her special gift. Clarissa will be raised not to think of her birth mother as the woman who gave her away, but the woman who loved her so much that wanted more for Clarissa than she was able to give.
In Idaho it's 10:30am.
I'm sitting on my bed right now wondering about the future. I wonder what Clarissa will look like. I wonder if she'll struggle with being adopted. I wonder if she'll ever fully understand how much she was loved and wanted from the moment she was born. I wonder what she'll be when she grows up. What talents will she carry on from her birth family? I wonder if she'll be a princess who loves pink or a tomboy who catches bugs, like I was. I wonder if she'll love to read or dance or draw. I wonder what it will feel like to finally have her here, in my arms, knowing that she's finally ours forever.
Three mothers. We may never meet but we've all got the same sweet little girl in our hearts today.
The time is now 10:44. I'm 14 minutes closer to having sweet Clarissa in my arms.