I feel like I haven't posted much lately. Or if I have it hasn't been anything interesting!
I'm sort of in a low point with the adoption wait right now. I've thought about it so much and I've talked about it so much that at the moment I'm totally burned out. I'm literally tired of listening to myself talk about it. And now I shall proceed to talk about it. Again. :)
On Tuesday we will have officially waited 17 months. That's long enough, don't you think?? The projected wait time right now for our agency is 15-17 months. On Tuesday we start month 18. I'm thinking month 18 is just going to start to get really depressing!! Every time the phone rings I think it's the agency and then everytime I answer it and it's not I resent the person for calling me and making me think it was the agency, lol. I'm just a ball of fun right now, aren't I?!
Knowing that I have a daughter out there somewhere that I haven't met yet is a weird feeling. My daughter is actually a living breathing person, living on the other side of the world somewhere right now. Knowing that she's out there somewhere, being taken care of by strangers and all I can do is hope and pray that she's being loved is hard. What is she doing right now? Is she awake? Asleep? Eating? Laughing? Crying? Whatever she's doing, I wish she were doing it here instead of on the other side of the world. I want to see her face. I want to hear her Korean name. I want to know when her birthday is. I have a child out there somewhere and I don't even know when her birthday is. I sometimes think that I just literally can't stand it for one more day.
But then I do, because I have no choice. Since getting on an airplane, flying across the ocean and frantically searching through Seoul for my baby isn't an option, I just keep on waiting. One of these days the phone is going to ring and it's going to be the agency letting me know that the time is finally here. One of these days its going to be our turn. That's going to be a pretty sweet day.