I know I've already posted today but a comment I just got reminded me of the great story I meant to tell!! Thanks for reminding me!
I looked back on my blog a couple of days ago to see if I could remember what I was doing the day Clarissa was born (February 4th).
According to my blog I went to a baby shower for a friend the night of February 3rd. I remember what a hard time I was having that night. There were a whole bunch of people there with their new babies and it was a big baby celebration for my friend (who I love to pieces and who had her baby boy two weeks after Clarissa was born!) and it was just really hard seeing all the fun baby stuff going on that night. I was really happy for my friend but I was feeling kind of down that evening and my thoughts were on Clarissa the whole night.
Clarissa was born on the afternoon of February 4th Korean time, but she was actually born on February 3rd around 11pm our time. She was born a few hours after I got back from that baby shower.
The next morning, on February 4th, I woke up and I specifically remember that morning because it felt like the fog my brain had been in for the past month or two had finally lifted. Anyone who was reading my blog in January can probably remember what a hard time I had that month. It was cold and dark outside and I was kind of feeling cold and dark inside. That month seemed to go on forever.
But the morning of February 4th I woke up with a smile on my face. I remember that it was a sunny day and that the sunshine made me happy after the long winter. I made a blog post that morning about how I finally felt happy again after such a long winter. For some reason I just woke up that morning with a peace in my heart that I hadn't felt in a while and it felt good.
At the time it didn't seem like a big thing, just a reaction to a sunny day in the winter, but now that I look back on that day and remember how I felt that morning I feel like maybe there was another reason I was so happy that day. I didn't know it then but my beautiful daughter had just entered the world.
I figured all that out while we were in Portland and the memory of that made me happy all the way home. When I got home and logged into my e-mail for the first time yesterday afternoon, the background graphic of my e-mail had changed from the flowers I set it to a few weeks ago to a big sun. Maybe AOL changed everyone's e-mail background to a sun yesterday for some reason, I don't know. But when I saw it it made me smile and reminded me of the sunny day in February that made my heart so happy.
The story of the morning Clarissa was born is a story that I can't wait to tell her someday. :)