Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Away We Go

Well here we are, it's our last day home before we leave for Korea. So many emotions are running through my head today. I'm excited and scared and nervous and happy and I just want to hurry and get this day over with so we can go!!!

I've spent some time this morning reflecting over the journey that brought us to this point. We've now been working on this adoption for over two years. It was the summer of 2007 when we first started thinking about adopting and so much has happened since then! I remember looking at the projected timelines and realizing that we wouldn't be getting our baby until 2009. That seemed so far away!

I'm really glad that I've blogged my experiences and feelings over the past year or so. It's really neat to look back and see how far we've come. One of the reasons I started this blog was so that Clarissa will be able to read her story someday. As soon as we get home from Korea I am going to use Blub.com to have my blog turned into a book that I can put away for Clarissa. Someday when she's ready to learn more about her adoption story I hope that she will read through it and understand the story of how her life began and how much she was cherished and loved from the very beginning.

I've been thinking a lot lately about Clarissa's birth mother and her foster mother. Clarissa is so lucky to have so much love in her life, and not one but three mothers who love her. I know that her birth mother has to be hurting right now. Choosing the place a child for adoption has to be such a heartbreaking decision, but I know that it was a decision made out of love. We know from the info we received with our referral that Clarissa's birth mothers main concern was what was in the best interest of Clarissa and she knew that there was a better life waiting for her than what she was able to provide. I will be forever grateful for her sacrifice.

I've also been thinking a lot about Clarissa's foster mother. As we're preparing to go to Korea and say hello to our daughter for the first time, her foster mother is preparing to say goodbye. I know how much she loves Clarissa and this is going to be a really hard time for her. My heart hurts for her and for Clarissa. As much as I can't wait for the day that we finally get to take Clarissa with us, I dread it at the same time because I know that I'm taking her away from people who love her and will be very sad to see her go. I am so grateful to her foster family. Clarissa has been loved and cherished for the past several months and I don't think I'll ever be able to properly thank them everything they've done. They've been a huge blessing in our lives.

So today I'm filled with excitement, anticipation, sadness and joy. A new chapter in our lives is beginning and I'm feeling a nervous excitement for what lies ahead of us. I feel so blessed that we've been able to go down this path. I know in my heart that Clarissa is meant to be a part of our family and I look forward to finally having her in our arms. The next weeks and months will be filled with lots of adventures, some fun and some maybe not so fun. But I know that this is a journey we were meant to take and for better or worse, I'm ready for the ride. So hold on tight Clarissa, here we go! :)

17 comments:

Wendy said...

I've got tears in my eyes reading this. Clarissa is such a lucky little girl!

Safe travels!

Liz said...

Wendy: I know you don't know me but I'm on CBHB and I've been there (or old BBC) since early 2006, so I remember when you first said you were going to adopt!

I'm so excited for you! Now it's down to HOURS until you hold your baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations, Momma!!!

KrisJ said...

Wendy it is a ride well worth the ups and downs! We are at 1 year in just a couple days and I cant wait to see you guys in a year from now too! YEAH!! I hope you have the best flight and trip and that the transistion goes smooth!!

Jen said...

Congrats!! Safe travels and can't wait to see pictures of Miss Clarissa!!!

Mcmommyto3 said...

I've been following your blog for some time but never posted before. Thank you for sharing your journey. Clarissa is so lucky to be joining such a remarkable family.

Bon voyage!

corrie said...

Wendy,
I also have followed your blog since BBC. I have never posted. I just wanted to say I'm so happy for you and your family. What a blessing this is for all of you. We look forward to seeing lots of pictures soon. You are in my prayers.

Rebecca said...

Have a safe and wonderful journey! I can't wait to "meet" her!!!

She is so lucky to have you guys for a family!

Amanda said...

Good Luck!

~Kim~ said...

You are *this* close to holding Clarissa! Oh, man, I just can't imagine your excitement. You must be bursting at the seams!

~Safe traveling for you guys!!!

Coffeegrl said...

Good Luck Wendy!

Melissa said...

I'm so, so excited for you! Can't wait to see pics of your baby girl!

And selfishly, I'm hoping we get to meet up next year once I move to Mountain Home...LOL.

My5Blessings said...

Wendy, I have known you for so long through the old BBC Bargain board and Bare Escentuals. You are such a special person and I know that you are going to be such a Wonderful mom to Clarissa!

These past two years must have seemed like a "roller-coaster" of emotions...now you are coming around that final turn before the best turn at the end!

Will be thinking of you and Shawn and praying for you both tomorrow as you are flying(I hate flying too!)and again on Friday when you get to finally meet your daughter.

I am so excited for all of you!!! I can't wait to see that Beautiful little girl!!!

Best wishes on a safe and wonderful journey!!!

Michelle
4kiddies4me OBBC

C said...

Another OBBCer chiming in today! :)

Your adventure has been so amazing ~ and you haven't even left the house yet!! :p Have an absolutely wonderful trip...your journey is just beginning!

Yay! Go Family!!
Very, Very, Best to you~
Carrie

p.s. from one ridiculously paranoid flier to another - I wish for you the presence of mind to take deep breaths and, the presence of lots and lots of picture-filled fashion magazines in the duty-free, to pass your time aboard the icky, icky flying machine as quickly as humanly possible...! :)

rycarjam said...

I'm so, so excited for you. I can't wait to hear all about it and will be thinking about all of you :)

Misty said...

So excited for you Wendy! It's so close now.. I think it's less than 11 hours till you leave! (Trying to figure with the time change to where you live!) I hope you have a wonderful trip and safe trip. Can't wait to see pictures!! Hooray! The time has come, the time has come!!! :)

~April~ said...

I am so excited for you! I can't believe you will be holding her so soon. I bet it seems like a dream but I know you can't wait. Have a great trip and a wonderful meeting!!!!!

Alicia said...

Congrats Wendy! Your story has really touched our family. I can't wait to hear about how your trip goes! Good Luck and happy traveling.

Alicia BHB :)