Well here we are, it's our last day home before we leave for Korea. So many emotions are running through my head today. I'm excited and scared and nervous and happy and I just want to hurry and get this day over with so we can go!!!
I've spent some time this morning reflecting over the journey that brought us to this point. We've now been working on this adoption for over two years. It was the summer of 2007 when we first started thinking about adopting and so much has happened since then! I remember looking at the projected timelines and realizing that we wouldn't be getting our baby until 2009. That seemed so far away!
I'm really glad that I've blogged my experiences and feelings over the past year or so. It's really neat to look back and see how far we've come. One of the reasons I started this blog was so that Clarissa will be able to read her story someday. As soon as we get home from Korea I am going to use Blub.com to have my blog turned into a book that I can put away for Clarissa. Someday when she's ready to learn more about her adoption story I hope that she will read through it and understand the story of how her life began and how much she was cherished and loved from the very beginning.
I've been thinking a lot lately about Clarissa's birth mother and her foster mother. Clarissa is so lucky to have so much love in her life, and not one but three mothers who love her. I know that her birth mother has to be hurting right now. Choosing the place a child for adoption has to be such a heartbreaking decision, but I know that it was a decision made out of love. We know from the info we received with our referral that Clarissa's birth mothers main concern was what was in the best interest of Clarissa and she knew that there was a better life waiting for her than what she was able to provide. I will be forever grateful for her sacrifice.
I've also been thinking a lot about Clarissa's foster mother. As we're preparing to go to Korea and say hello to our daughter for the first time, her foster mother is preparing to say goodbye. I know how much she loves Clarissa and this is going to be a really hard time for her. My heart hurts for her and for Clarissa. As much as I can't wait for the day that we finally get to take Clarissa with us, I dread it at the same time because I know that I'm taking her away from people who love her and will be very sad to see her go. I am so grateful to her foster family. Clarissa has been loved and cherished for the past several months and I don't think I'll ever be able to properly thank them everything they've done. They've been a huge blessing in our lives.
So today I'm filled with excitement, anticipation, sadness and joy. A new chapter in our lives is beginning and I'm feeling a nervous excitement for what lies ahead of us. I feel so blessed that we've been able to go down this path. I know in my heart that Clarissa is meant to be a part of our family and I look forward to finally having her in our arms. The next weeks and months will be filled with lots of adventures, some fun and some maybe not so fun. But I know that this is a journey we were meant to take and for better or worse, I'm ready for the ride. So hold on tight Clarissa, here we go! :)