Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The big day

In 90 minutes I'm going to get in a taxi, go to the agency and walk out with my daughter. I've dreamed of this moment for two years and I can hardly believe that it's finally here!! So many emotions are running through my head right now. I'm excited and scared and nervous and happy and I'm also so sad for the foster mother. We've gotten the opportunity to spend a lot of time with her over the past week and I've grown to love her. I love her for being such a wonderful mother to Clarissa while she's been in Korea. Clarissa is happy and healthy and loved and safe and I have her foster mother to thank for that. I don't know how to thank someone for such an amazing gift, but today I'm going to try. It breaks my heart to know that while we're walking out of the agency with our daughter, she'll be walking out alone. My heart hurts for her.

But through that sadness is so much happiness knowing that Clarissa is finally going to be in our arms. Yesterday we had a quick meeting at the agency to be with Clarissa for her final medical checkup and while we were there the foster mother gave us a bag of Clarissa's clothes. When we got back to the hotel I opened the bag and started going through the bag and all of a sudden I had this moment where it hit me that these are my DAUGHTERS clothes. It suddenly felt so real that it took my breath away. This is real!! Clarissa is actually coming home with us! Just typing that brings tears to my eyes. I'm so excited that I can hardly sit still!

This afternoon when we get Clarissa back to our hotel we're going to spend some quiet time in our room, just the three of us, getting to know each other and it's time that I'm really looking forward to. Tomorrow we're going to do some last minute shopping if Clarissa is up to it and then we fly home tomorrow evening.
There are a few events in your life that you can define as life changing and I think that this week in Korea has been one of those times for me. I can't even describe how important this trip has been to me. Every moment of it has been a gift that I will be forever grateful for. I'm going to be sad to leave tomorrow. I will miss the wonderful people here and all the beautiful things we've seen. Korea is an amazing place and I've been so blessed to have experienced it.

So now it's time for me to put the computer away and prepare to leave for the agency. The butterfies in my stomach are performing an Irish jig in there, I think. :)

The next time I post I'll have Clarissa by my side. What a wonderful thought. :)

29 comments:

Rebecca said...

Such an amazing time in your life. I'm praying that the night goes well and Clarissa adjusts quickly. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

Lynnette said...

Good luck!! Your story is amazing! Thanks for sharing it with us!

Lynnette from LDS BBC

Christine said...

Congratulations Wendy. I'm so happy for you and your family. Korea IS a beautiful place with beautiful people. I should know... I'm Korean. I'm half Korean anyway. I was born there and lived there for 7 years. It's been almost 30 years since I've been there and I miss it so much. I hope you enjoy your time there and I hope you have a safe trip home with your daughter.

Melissa said...

I'm so glad I obsessively checked again one more time before I went to bed! I'm so, so thrilled for you and pray that the transition goes well today. What an amazing woman to foster your daughter and provide a loving environment for her. Thinking of you right now!

Lucky Mama said...

Good luck! I will be thinking of all of you. Praying for a smooth transition.

April*AKBD* said...

Sooooo exciting!!! Clarissa should be in your arms now!! I can't wait to see pics of your boys with her when you guys get home!

Safe travels!

michelle j said...

YEAH!! thanks for sharing your journey with us, I cant wait to see pict. and here more stories. Enjoy!! michelle from nebraska

Christine said...

Good luck and I hope the transition with Clarissa goes well. And of course Congratulations on the arrival of your new daughter!

Kara said...

Congratulations!! I hope that the transition went smoothly, and you have a safe trip home!!!

Heidi said...

really so very happy for you. :)

MaMeex5 said...

I love that you are concerned about the foster parents. That shows how wonderful you are. As previous foster parent and now adoptive parent I commend you.

I hope you are having a wonderful time with your daughter. That she is adjusting well and you are having a blast together.

My5Blessings said...

Wendy, You are truly an Amazing person! So thoughtful, caring and sensitive. I hope everything went well with Clarissa and I hope and pray that her foster mother is at peace in her heart knowing what a wonderful job she did with Clarissa! I hope everything is well with Miss Clarissa!

Michelle

Pam said...

Your post brought tears to my eyes! I'm so happy for you and your family. Clarissa is such a lucky little girl to have such wonderful people in her life.

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

Praying for a joyful and safe trip back for y'all! And for comfort for the foster mom's heart.

Congratulations!!!

Beck said...

I am so happy for you! I can't even begin to imagine how many emotions are involved with it all. However, I know that having your beautiful baby girl by your side will be worth it all. HUGS to you and CONGRATS again

KrisJ said...

OMG Wendy!! YEAH!!!

C said...

As of today, you can change your ticker... :) how cool is THAT!?!? yay!

~Carrie

MamaMia said...

I am so thrilled for you! I can't wait to hear more and see more pics of that little girl of yours. You are truly blessed, as is Clarissa and her foster mom.

Stacy and Angela said...

My tears started to flow from the first words of your post! Happy tears for you and your family. You are such an amazing person, to keep the foster mother in your thoughts. I have loved reading your journey, and can't wait to read about all of your new happy times with your family.

Aly said...

Hope you guys enjoyed last night with your new daughter! Wishing you a safe, uneventful trip home today. At least the flight home is shorter! Sending you some good tail winds!

MommysBreakTime said...

Congratulations! I can't wait to see pics of the whole family finally together!

beckster.beck said...

Wendy,

When do you get back home?

~April~ said...

I hope your flight went well and everything is great!!! Yay!

Donna said...

Looking forward to hearing your update. I am happy for you and your family! Congrats!

Beth said...

Congratulations. Given the time difference, I suspect you're already holding your daughter by now! My prayers are with you as you bring her home!

Rebecca said...

Ahh....I got chills! Your journey has been amazing. I loved reading it. I can't wait to hear about your life with YOUR DAUGHTER!
Amazing.

Finally Happy!!! said...

You don't know me, I got your link from the LDS Parent forum on bbc, but my heart is with you and my eyes are misty just reading your blog. Congratulations on your wonderful blessing and have a safe trip home.

Brittany said...

I just have to say congrats..you probably don't know me but I remember you from BBC and I always wondered if you got your baby...sounds like you have.Congrats!

EB said...

How exciting! We are all so happy for you and your family. Congratulations on your new baby!

You should totally get a stork that says "It's a Girl!" in your yard!