You know those moments where you look at your kids and have an overwhelming moment of love? Sometimes I look at my kids and I love them so much it almost takes my breath away. I've been having a lot of those moments lately. I didn't know I could love anyone as much as I love my three sweet kids. THREE! There are finally THREE of them! :)
Things are going really great around here. Honestly, better that I ever expected. I'm just constantly amazed at how well Clarissa has adjusted to our family and how easily she fit right in. I thought long and hard about adopting a child before we decided to go ahead with it and I have always felt so strongly that this was what was meant for our family, but honestly I had a few moments during the wait where I would wonder what it would feel like to raise a child who wasn't biologically mine. I wondered if it would feel different at first and I wondered if it would take a little time to really fall in love with her and feel like she was really mine.
Now that we're past all of that, I can tell you that it took about five seconds, lol. The immediate bond that I had with her actually surprised me. For some reason I thought it was going to be harder than that or that there were going to be more complicated emotions involved, but there wasn't. Holding her for the first time was very much like holding my boys for the first time after they were born. There was no question-they were MINE and I was in love.
In a few days Clarissa will have been home a month. In some ways the time has flown by and in other ways it feels like she has been here forever. This blog post was prompted by the fact that I was just laying down with Clarissa trying to get her to take a nap and as I was laying there with her and watching her fall asleep I just had a moment of overwhelming love and gratitude for her. I was thinking as I was laying there that it feels like she's always been here. I know without a doubt that she was meant to be a part of our family. For years I've felt that there was someone missing in our family and every time I look at her I know that she was meant to fill that empty spot. I feel like someone just snapped the missing peace into the puzzle. I feel ridiculously blessed to have three such wonderful children who make me smile and make my life so full of love and joy.
So yeah, things are going pretty well here. :) Clarissa is such a joy! She's so happy and easy going and so fun to play with. She's cuddly and loving and we couldn't possibly love her more. We're all pretty smitten with her! She loves her brothers like crazy and the feeling is mutual. I love watching her face light up when the sit down to play with her. Seeing all three of my kids playing together is really great. This is what life is all about.
My house is a little messier these days and by the end of the day I'm completely exhausted, but my heart is full. These days I'm just sitting back and enjoying life. We went through so much to get here and now that the wait is over I just couldn't be happier. :)