Last night I was reading my blog from the beginning. It was really fun to read through all the experiences we went through in the early days of the adoption process and all that was going on in our lives then.
But I have to admit that it depressed me a little bit to read it! When I first started this blog I had all sorts of fun stories about things we were doing and places we were going and I had photography to share. Over the past year it seems like my blog, and my life, have gotten a lot less fun. Not that I'm not happy with my life and what's going on in it now, but when I read my more recent posts they sound a lot less fun and carefree than they used to.
Last year was pretty much the year of the adoption. Starting in January we were on alert for the referral and the fact that it took a lot longer than we thought it was going to got kind of depressing. I was pretty mopey for the first half of last year. Then once we got the referral I was excited but super stressed and busy, trying to get paperwork done, trying to get the house ready and calling the appropriate government offices every day hoping to hear that our paperwork had been approved. Then the last part of the year we had Clarissa home, which of course we are THRILLED with, but then I was so busy and stressed getting us all adjusted and getting through the holidays that somewhere along the way I forgot to chill out and just enjoy it all like I used to.
I'm not unhappy, I've just realized that I've been focusing too much on the stress in my life and not taking the time to enjoy all the really great things in my life. I guess reading my blog last night was kind of a wake up call for me. All the stories about the birds in my tree, camping in the backyard, taking vacations in the basement and taking road trip adventures made me smile and brought back a lot of fantastic memories. We haven't done stuff like that in a while. I haven't filled the bird feeders in my tree for ages and I can't remember the last time I shot art or nature photos just for fun. Those were the things that I did to deal with stress and the things I did just for me because I enjoyed them. It's time to get back to that again. It's time to start writing fun blog posts about our latest adventures instead of making blog posts about how busy and stressed I am!
So that's my resolution. I'm going to find that person I used to be a couple of years ago and start bringing the fun back into my life. I'm going to fill my bird feeders and get my camera out just for fun. I'm going to seek out adventures and find more things to laugh about. Life is fun and I'm going to enjoy it!