Tuesday

I feel like my blog is going through an identity crisis these days! I started it as an adoption blog, and I absolutely loved updating it with all the adoption news. But now that the adoption has been completed I don't really have any more adoption news to report. Adoption will always be a part of our lives, but it's not something I think about daily anymore. Clarissa is just one of the gang now, so dedicating a blog just to her seems kind of weird.

I've actually considered just ending the blog. I started it to tell our story of adoption and that story has been told. I sometimes have a hard time coming up with things to blog about these days because our day to day life is pretty mundane lately. No big stories and updates like I had before.

I think I'd miss the blog if I abandonded it completely though. It's nice to have a place to write down my thoughts and I reallly enjoy reading past entries and reliving fun moments in our lives. So I think I'm going to keep it going, but I may not update it as often and it's not going to be all about Clarissa and the adoption. I feel like our family has entered a new phase and as much as the adoption was a wonderful experience for us, I'm ready to put it behind us and start the next chapter of our lives. I will always love talking about adoption and it's always going to be a big part of our family's story, but I'm ready to forge ahead into new adventures.

So I'll come up with new things to talk about and slowly I'll solve my blogs identity crisis. I'm in the process of redesigning the layout because I'm ready for a change but I can't come up with an idea that I like more than the current one, so I'm still playing around with it.

So in family news, there's not much going on around here this week. Last week was crazy busy with the adoption finalization and the trip to my hometown over the weekend, but this week is pretty wide open. I don't have a lot of big plans. The kids still have another month of school left (they're on a year round schedule), so things are still pretty quiet around here for now.

I'm actually kind of in a funk today. I had a weird dream last night that I can't shake for some reason. Every now and then I'll have a really vivid dream that seems so real that when I wake up it takes me a few minutes to remember where I am and realize that it was just a dream. Then it sticks with me all day and it takes a while to get it out of my head. Usually it's a dream about the past, as this one was. I've got some things on my mind today that I wish weren't. Some things are better left in the past.

So I'm kind of restless and unsettled today. I need to find a project to work on this afternoon. I have some photo projects that I need to work on. I'm going to take all the photos we have of Clarissa from birth on and make an adoption book for her. Something that we can keep in a special place and get out and look at when she wants to. I have so much adoption memorabilia around here that needs to be gone through. All the photos we got from her foster mother, all the things that we bought for her in Korea, all the keepsakes that I've collected for her...there's a lot of it. As we've gone through the adoption process I've kept everything because I feel like maybe it's all going to be important to her later. Maybe it won't be and someday she'll laugh at all the crazy things I've saved, but I'm saving it all, just in case.

For now I'm going to get in a few more minutes of peace and quiet while Clarissa is taking her nap. My quiet moments are few and far between these days, so I cherish them when I can get them! :)