Sunday, August 14, 2011


Wow, it's been a while since I've updated my blog. I'm not really sure if anyone is still even reading it, but if so, hello! I'm back! :)

It's been a crazy busy summer here. I've enjoyed having the boys home all summer but I'm looking forward to getting the house back in order when school starts in a few weeks. We spent all day yesterday going through the kids clothes, figuring out what still fits, what Josh could hand down to Matthew, what we could donate and what needs to be purchased for the school year. I discovered that we all have way too many clothes and I was happy to haul three garbage bags full of them out of the house to donate and we took three more totes to our favorite consignment shop for store credit. It feels good to get it all organized.

I took Josh shopping a few days ago for school supplies and we had a good time getting him ready to start middle school. I'm still having a hard time with this whole middle school thing. It's occuring to me more and more that he's not a little kid anymore and he just keeps getting bigger! I'm going to have a teenager in the house before I know it. That's scary!

One fun project we've been working on this summer is putting together a backyard theater!! I found a great video projector on Craigslist and we're working on building a movie screen. We've actually already had one backyard movie night to test out the projector and we just watched it on a sheet tacked to our fence. We had a fun time and I think it will be even more fun when the big screen is ready! Next summer I'm hoping to have weekly movie nights with our friends and neighbors. My next Craigslist search is for a real movie theater popcorn popper that I can set up on the patio. I haven't found one in my budget yet, but I'm keeping an eye out!

So that's all the fun stuff going on here these days. It's been a fun summer full of swimming lessons, hanging out with friends, a trip to Yellowstone, backyard movies and getting ready for the new school year.

Now for the other subject that I've been debating with myself if I should post about or not. I'm pretty open about most things on my blog. We all know how much I like to ramble on about my life. :) So I decided to post about a new journey in my life in hopes that it might help someone struggling with the same issues.

This year has been full of fun things and great family moments, but in a lot of ways it's been a hard year for me. I've struggled for years with anxiety and it has come back full force lately for some reason. I feel like I'm struggling to keep control of my life lately. I did my 30 days to a better me project, I've been working on making positive changes but I'm just going through one of those periods where I feel like despite my best efforts life keeps getting in the way and I'm not the person I want to be these days. My anxiety makes it hard to function at times. I went through something similar about four years ago and I went on medication and eventually got things under control but now it's back and to make a very long story short, I'm tired of the medication and I'm tired of the anxiety. It's overwhelming and I've reached the end of my rope.

So after much prayer and a talk with my doctor, I've found a great psychologist and this Wednesday I'm starting therapy. I'll be going once a week for the time being. Honestly, I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that I'm going to therapy. I don't know why. I guess I don't like to admit weakness. But on the other hand, it's important to me to take control of my life and be the best me I can be and if this is what I need to be that person then I'm excited to start the journey. There are a few things I need to work through and I think this will be really good for me. Maybe this will be a six months to a better me project. I'm looking forward to learning and growing and coming out stronger on the other side.

So I'll probably update on my progress as I go. My blog has kind of reinvented itself a few times and I guess for now it's my ongoing quest to become a better me. That seems to be the theme of my life this year, so I guess it will be the theme of my blog for a while. Stick with me, you never know what will happen next. :)


Joy said...

Wendy, I've struggled with anxiety for a few years now... seems like it got worse when I hit 30.. go figure.

Actually, I had a lot of things going on after my youngest was born, until a friend recommended a great book - The Hormone Diet, but Dr Natasha Turner. Turns out, anxiety can be related to hormones, and (if that is the case) can be corrected by diet.
Anyways, it's worth a look - I feel so much better, and have so much more energy than I used to have. It really sucks when you have every reason to be happy and enjoy life, but you just can't seem to.
Good luck!

Dustin, Darci, Britton, Benjamin, & Caden said...

We should talk. We are way more alike than you know. Don't be emberrassed about therapy either. I went through some about 4 years ago and got on medication, but sometimes the anxiety sneaks up on me anyway, or a panic attack, which are just painful. My therapist game me a good book also called Feel the Fear and do it anyway. It was pretty good, but I think the therapy helped the most. Call me sometime or we should get together.

Wendy said...

It's good to know that I'm not alone. Darci, I would love to get together sometime! Maybe when the kids start school in a couple of weeks? My life will be a little less hectic then! :)

JET said...

I suffer from anxiety too. My chest feels like it is squeezing my heart right now. I'm trying to relax an came to your blog. I check in every couple of weeks to see what is new with you.

Wendy said...

Jet, Take deep breaths, I'm sorry you're feeling anxious tonight. :( For me it helps a little to go outside when I feel like I can't breathe. Anxiety makes me feel a little claustrophobic. I hope you find something to take your mind off of it! Hang in there!