First day of middle school!

Today was the big day, Josh finally started middle school. I've kind of been dreading this day all summer. Actually, I've kind of been dreading this day for the past eleven and a half years, lol. I survived it though and Josh had a great day.

He was super nervous this morning and in typical Josh fashion got up at the crack of dawn to get ready. Middle school starts a lot earlier than elementary school so I think we're all going to have to get used to the new schedule around here. Shawn drove him to the school and got him settled and then I nervously waited all day for him to come home and tell me how it went and Clarissa walked around saying "where's Josh?" all day.

At 3:00 Josh bounded in the front door with a huge smile on his face and I could officially relax. The first day of middle school was a sucess. The great thing about the the timing of his school schedule is that he gets home when Clarissa is usually taking a nap and Matthew is still at school so we had a few minutes of quiet time and we sat on the couch and ate cookies while he told me about his day. This will work out great because then when Matthew comes home Josh will already be talked out and I can have some time to hear about Matthews day without both kids bombarding me with homework and papers to sign at the same time. I think this new schedule is going to work out nicely.

Josh likes his teachers, he made some new friends, he got on the right bus and all in all it sounded like a great day. I guess if my kids are going to refuse to stay little forever I'm going to have to get used to all this big kid stuff! Josh is a good kid, I think he's going to be just fine. And as for me? Well, I have therapy tomorrow so I have faith that eventually I'll be just fine too, lol. :)

Back to school!

After a stressful morning getting Matthew to school, he started his first day of third grade today! Because our elementary school is on a year round schedule and the middle school is on a traditional schedule, Josh still has another week of summer vacation before he goes back. So we get to do the first day of school twice this year!

Matthew normally rides the bus but I like to take them on their first day so this morning I drove him to school. We left with what we thought was plenty of time to spare and the school is only a few miles up the road, but when we got to the intersection near the school we discovered that some genius had decided to close the road today to start a road construction project and we had to take a huge detour.  We ended up having to go miles out of our way to get to school and the detour caused a big backup of all the people trying to drive their kids to school on the first day and we ended up sitting in traffic forever. We were still sitting in traffic at 9:05, which is when school starts. I wasn't too worried, because half the school was stuck in traffic with us.

We FINALLY got to the school, found a place to park, which was insane, and got Matthew into school and we could not find his classroom anywhere. We walked up and down the third grade hall and looked at all the names on the door and his teachers name wasn't there. At this point I was stressed and cranky but we managed to find someone to ask and found out that his classroom is in a trailer outside this year. Awesome. So we went back outside, SUPER late at this point, found his classroom and the teacher and the other kids in his class were headed back outside so she could show them where to line up at the beginning of the school day. Matthew hurried and got in line with the rest of the kids, I met his teacher for half a second, I didn't even get to go in the classroom or help him get settled or anything and that was it. I said a quick goodbye and got in the car to make the long drive back through the detour again to go home. The whole fiasco took an hour.

That was not how I planned the morning to go. Fortunately Matthew is so easy going. I don't think it phased him much, he was just happy to be there. He's been really excited to go back to school.

Here are Matthew's first day of school pictures and the latest addition to the yearly collage! To tell you the truth we cheated and did Josh's first day of school pictures today too even though he doesn't start back until next week. He has to leave early for school and I wanted take pictures of the boys together so I figured it would be easier to do them all today.  I'll wait until next week to post Josh's picture though when I post about his first day of school.

Therapy, week one

So I'm back from therapy and it wasn't so bad! I was nervous about it but it went well. It was just sheer coincidence, but my therapist is actually my second cousin, lol. I have a huge family on my moms side and when I was referred to him I immediately knew that we were probably related because of his last name but he wasn't someone I knew or had even heard of before. We compared geneology and his grandpa and my great grandpa are brothers. Small world!

Anyway, it went fine, it wasn't as weird and awkward as I thought it was going to be and I think I'll get a lot out of it.  I'm looking forward to going back next week.

Everything else is going good this week. We had fun celebrating Matthew's birthday on Monday. We went to a local family fun center that has an arcade and food and other fun things. They have bumper cars and I seriously don't think I've ever had so much fun on bumper cars before. The place wasn't very crowded so we just kept going again and again. We had a good time crashing into each other. I haven't laughed that hard in a while.

Tonight I'm getting ready to take Josh over to the middle school for an open house. We'll get to find his locker and see his schedule and take a tour of the school. Middle school is throwing me for a loop. Maybe I'll feel better after I walk around with him and help him figure out where things are. Or maybe not. Darn this growing up stuff!

So there's my update. Therapy isn't awful, Matthew's birthday was fun and Josh is growing up too darn fast. Life just keeps on moving!

Happy birthday Matthew!

It's hard to believe that my sweet little boy is 8 years old today! We had fun this morning watching him open presents and this evening we're taking him out for a night of fun activities. It's actually been really nice this year because most years school starts either on his birthday or the day before and as hard as I try his birthday always kind of gets lost in all the back to school craziness. This year school is starting a week later so I'm enjoying that we can celebrate his birthday without trying to fit the activities in with the back to school stuff.

So of course today has gottten me thinking about his birth and that sweet little baby I brought home 8 years ago. Matthew's entry into the world was not an easy one. Due to a very scary prolapsed cord emergency I was rushed into surgery and I was unconscious for Matthew's birth. Shawn and I both missed witnessing his birth. They woke me up an hour later to tell me I had a healthy son and I was so relieved that he was OK that I didn't even care that I missed the whole thing. My favorite memory of that day was when the nurse was trying to wake me up and she told me that I had a healthy 8 pound 1 ounce baby boy with blond hair. Everyone else in our family has brown hair and I just assumed that Matthew would too, so in my half conscious state I remember wondering who she was talking to, lol. I was confused as to why she was trying to tell me about having a blond baby. But sure enough, she was talking to me and I finally got to see my sweet little blond boy.

Matthew has been a joy in our family since he arrived. He's super laid back and has always been such an easy child. When he was little we used to call him the shadow because he followed Josh around everywhere he went. Josh and Matthew are still really close and I love that they're such good friends.

Matthew has always been a really smart child. He taught himself to read at three and at four he memorized all the planets in the solar system in order and could tell you all sorts of amazing facts about them. He likes to read non-fiction books about different topics and he knows all sorts of interesting facts about random things. Matthew is the only kid I know who is genuinely dissapointed when his teacher doesn't hand out homework. In the summer he begs me to print out homework sheets for him to work on and he can't wait for school to start in the fall. Matthew is funny and sweet and a blessing in our lives.

In honor of Matthew's birthday, here is a video I made when he was a baby. I love to watch this every year on his birthday. Happy birthday sweet Matthew! :)

Summer

Wow, it's been a while since I've updated my blog. I'm not really sure if anyone is still even reading it, but if so, hello! I'm back! :)

It's been a crazy busy summer here. I've enjoyed having the boys home all summer but I'm looking forward to getting the house back in order when school starts in a few weeks. We spent all day yesterday going through the kids clothes, figuring out what still fits, what Josh could hand down to Matthew, what we could donate and what needs to be purchased for the school year. I discovered that we all have way too many clothes and I was happy to haul three garbage bags full of them out of the house to donate and we took three more totes to our favorite consignment shop for store credit. It feels good to get it all organized.

I took Josh shopping a few days ago for school supplies and we had a good time getting him ready to start middle school. I'm still having a hard time with this whole middle school thing. It's occuring to me more and more that he's not a little kid anymore and he just keeps getting bigger! I'm going to have a teenager in the house before I know it. That's scary!

One fun project we've been working on this summer is putting together a backyard theater!! I found a great video projector on Craigslist and we're working on building a movie screen. We've actually already had one backyard movie night to test out the projector and we just watched it on a sheet tacked to our fence. We had a fun time and I think it will be even more fun when the big screen is ready! Next summer I'm hoping to have weekly movie nights with our friends and neighbors. My next Craigslist search is for a real movie theater popcorn popper that I can set up on the patio. I haven't found one in my budget yet, but I'm keeping an eye out!

So that's all the fun stuff going on here these days. It's been a fun summer full of swimming lessons, hanging out with friends, a trip to Yellowstone, backyard movies and getting ready for the new school year.

Now for the other subject that I've been debating with myself if I should post about or not. I'm pretty open about most things on my blog. We all know how much I like to ramble on about my life. :) So I decided to post about a new journey in my life in hopes that it might help someone struggling with the same issues.

This year has been full of fun things and great family moments, but in a lot of ways it's been a hard year for me. I've struggled for years with anxiety and it has come back full force lately for some reason. I feel like I'm struggling to keep control of my life lately. I did my 30 days to a better me project, I've been working on making positive changes but I'm just going through one of those periods where I feel like despite my best efforts life keeps getting in the way and I'm not the person I want to be these days. My anxiety makes it hard to function at times. I went through something similar about four years ago and I went on medication and eventually got things under control but now it's back and to make a very long story short, I'm tired of the medication and I'm tired of the anxiety. It's overwhelming and I've reached the end of my rope.

So after much prayer and a talk with my doctor, I've found a great psychologist and this Wednesday I'm starting therapy. I'll be going once a week for the time being. Honestly, I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that I'm going to therapy. I don't know why. I guess I don't like to admit weakness. But on the other hand, it's important to me to take control of my life and be the best me I can be and if this is what I need to be that person then I'm excited to start the journey. There are a few things I need to work through and I think this will be really good for me. Maybe this will be a six months to a better me project. I'm looking forward to learning and growing and coming out stronger on the other side.

So I'll probably update on my progress as I go. My blog has kind of reinvented itself a few times and I guess for now it's my ongoing quest to become a better me. That seems to be the theme of my life this year, so I guess it will be the theme of my blog for a while. Stick with me, you never know what will happen next. :)