Wednesday, June 12, 2013

I feel faaaaaaaat.

So I went shopping for summer clothes today. We're getting ready to go on vacation and I have nothing summery to wear. And you know why? Because I feel fat. Remember all that weight I lost when I was super awesome? Well, then winter came and I lost my motivation and I hurt my foot and couldn't run for a few months and sadly some of that weight I loss found its way back.

And I'm super, super, suuuuuper cranky about it. It's totally my own fault, I realize that. I was making progress and feeling better than I had felt in years and then somehow I just...quit. I didn't mean to, I had good intentions, I just gave up. In my defense, I really did hurt my foot. I did something to my Achilles tendon and it hurt to walk for like 3 months. It took me most of the winter for my foot to stop hurting. Of course, I could have done another type of exercise and stuck with the diet, but I didn't. I intended to start back up in the spring and then I had all the tooth issues and 100 more excuses and I didn't do it.

So now here we are, it's summer again and I have a closet full of clothes that either don't fit or I feel super frumpy in. When you're not the weight you want to be, shopping for clothes really kind of sucks. I went to Kohls today and wandered around aimlessly grabbing anything in the size I wish I wasn't and tried a ton of things on. All I gained from that experience was the realization that there are far too many mirrors in dressing rooms. I bought three things and I only marginally like them, but it was either that or go on vacation in my pajamas, which, if you want the truth, I think I would prefer, lol.

Also, my class reunion is in a few weeks. *sigh*

So today I'm feeling a little down and a lot disappointed with myself. I realize that the solution is to stop wallowing and just get on the treadmill and fix the problem. Starting is always the hardest part, isn't it? Tomorrow is a new day and maybe it's time to give it another attempt. I'll try.

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