The beginning. Again.

You know what I did this morning? I dragged my overweight behind onto the treadmill. Go Wendy.

And here is why.

So Josh has been talking this summer about taking up running. In the spring when he was choosing his classes for this upcoming school year, he decided to take a special PE class. There were two class options, either just regular PE where you play dodgeball, learn about sports, etc, or a multi-fit class, which is more like a body training and fitness class. Lots of running and cardio and things like that. A bunch of Josh's friends were signing up for that one so he decided to do it too.

And then, when it was too late to change his mind, I think he started to panic, lol. Josh has never been an athlete. He's smart as a whip and has so many talents, but he struggles when it comes to sports and things like that. Part of his problem is that he unfortunately inherited my asthma. Every time they have to run in PE he has to stop and use his inhaler. I know how that goes, I had the same problem as a kid, and it sucks. I can't tell you how many times in my life I tried to be a runner, get in shape, play a sport or whatever and quit because my asthma made it feel like it was impossible.

It's NOT impossible. Every doctor I've ever had has told me that exercise eventually makes asthma better. If you can get past the first part where you feel like your lungs are going to shrivel up and fall right out of your body and you're going to die every time you start moving, eventually it gets better. Well, that's all well and good, but getting through that first part suuuucks. It sucks. It sucks a whole big bunch. So I totally get where Josh is coming from. I have used asthma as the excuse for why I can't exercise for years. It's legitimately hard. Impossible, no, but it's hard and I'm a big baby and I give up.

But anyway, this summer Josh decided that he wanted to start running. He is worried about being able to keep up in the PE class and decided that if he started working now, he would have a much easier time when school starts. I totally agree and support that idea whole heartedly. So earlier this summer he was super excited and started off on his plan to become a runner. And two days into it he had an asthma attack and gave up. That's my child, lol. I have been there and done that about eight billion times in my life.

Yesterday he had his yearly physical and I encouraged him to talk to his doctor about it, and he of course said the same thing to him that he says to me. Exercise is good for asthma. So last night I have him a big long pep talk about how asthma isn't an excuse. You just have to push through it and not give up. I went on and on about how important it is to be in shape and Shawn Googled Olympic athletes who have asthma and it was the greatest pep talk of all time.

And then I realized that the pep talk was being given by the biggest hypocrite in the history of the universe. I have asthma and I give up on running on a regular basis. Who am I to tell him that he can do it when I can't seem to do it? I give up more than anyone I know, lol. Remember last year when I was doing so awesome? For the first time in my life I managed to conquer the asthma and start running. And it was awesome and I loved it. And then I quit, because that's what I do. And it's laaaame.

So I finally realized that I can't give the "you can do it, don't let asthma be your excuse" speech if I'm not willing to follow my own advice. So I told him that we're all doing this together. He's running, I'm running, Shawn's running, we're all doing it. No excuses, we're just doing it.

So this morning came. I opened my eyes and my first thought was "oh crap. The treadmill." I didn't jut give up on running last year, I crashed and burned. I gained the weight back and went back to every bad habit I had worked so hard to overcome. So now I'm starting over from scratch. And I'm really really mad at myself. Last year I had finally gotten to the point where my asthma was no longer a problem, and now it's a problem again. Last year I was legitimately RUNNING! I never thought I would be able to run and I did it. Now I can't run anymore. I'm back to square one. And it suuuuucks.

But I will do it, because I want to be a good example to my kids and I want to help Josh reach his full potential. I want him to realize the importance of getting into shape when he's 13 and not have to drag his over weight behind onto the treadmill when he's 38.

So this morning I faced the treadmill. I walked for 20 minutes. I had an asthma attack. It sucked. Tomorrow I will walk for 21 minutes and tell my asthma to kiss my behind. It's hard and I kind of hate it. But like I told Josh yesterday, eventually it becomes easier and you kind of love it. You just have to get there. We'll get there together. After I finished walking and I could barely breathe and I thought I wanted to die, I came up the stairs, Shawn congratulated me for going a whole 20 minutes longer than I went yesterday and the whole family cheered for me. We're dorks. I freakin' love our family.

So today after we all spend some time on the treadmill we're having a motivational movie marathon. We're going to watch Rudy and The Pursuit of Happyness. Two true stories about people who had big dreams and lots of hurdles to overcome.

If they can do it, so can we.