Rain

It's a wet rainy day today and I got some unexpected alone time this afternoon. Josh and Matthew are both playing at friends houses and Shawn took Clarissa to run some errands so I'm home enjoying the quiet and listening to the rain.

This morning we got word that a family from our church lost their husband and father to cancer last night. I'm so sad for their family. I so hoped that this wouldn't be the outcome for them. He was such a nice man, Shawn really enjoyed working with him in his church leadership assignments.

This situation has hit close to home with me because their family dynamics are almost just the same as ours were when we lost my dad. He was around the same age my dad was when he died and his kids are in their teens and 20's, just like we were. He also had a cancer with few options and went quickly, just like my dad. I know what that family is feeling today and my heart hurts for them. That's such a hard thing to go through. My heart really goes out to them.

It's been on my mind a lot today and I've been thinking a lot about their family and about my dad. Especially because my dad's birthday is coming up in a couple of days. I miss him so much. Losing someone you love sucks. There's just really no other way to say it.

The night my dad died was awful, but here is something that I will never forget from that night. My dad died at home, late in the evening. It took a while for the funeral home to come and take his body and of course no one was really doing any sleeping. What I remember in the midst of that horrible night was coming upstairs around midnight and seeing one of our neighbors in our kitchen, standing at the sink doing the dishes. It struck me at that moment as such an act of kindness. She wanted to help and not knowing what to do, she just went to work and cleaned our kitchen in the middle of that awful night.

I'm sure to this day she doesn't realize how much that affected me that night. It reminded me that we weren't alone, that there were people who cared and that in our darkest moments there are kind people who are willing to just show up and find a way to help. I often think of that woman and what an example of love and kindness that was to me. Sometimes it's hard to know what to say to someone in their moments of grief, but that woman was a reminder to me that sometimes it's not the words that matter. I don't think I spoke to that woman that night, but I'll always remember how that little act of kindness made me feel.

That's really all I have to say today. I have some more basement stuff to talk about but today doesn't feel like the day to talk about it. I'll update about it later. For now I'm going to go back to sitting in the quiet and watching it rain.