I kind of have an announcement. A very terrifying announcement, lol.
I think I'm going back to college. Eek! There is a very long story behind all of this, but the short version is that lately I can't seem to shake the feeling that I need to go back to school.
When I was a teenager, I wanted to be a psychologist. That was my dream job. The story of why that never happened is complicated to tell, but the short version is that I had one disastrous year of college and my dreams never happened. And that has bothered me for years. One of the biggest regrets of my life has been not finishing college, and the older I've gotten the more I have felt like the opportunity has passed and it's too late.
Then I've had a few really odd experiences in my life lately, where the idea of going back to school keeps coming up. From very weird and random places, this idea keeps being brought up to me. It's been a theme in my life over the past year.
So I finally recognized that maybe these weird occurrences aren't random and maybe it was something I needed to pursue.
I thought it was impossible. I'm too old, it's too expensive, I haven't been in school in 20 years and I don't know if I can do it...I came up with a hundred reasons why I can't do it.
Except you know what? I think, just maybe, I can. I stumbled upon a college program that actually seems like a realistic option for me. It's not psychology, but the ultimate goal is a masters in clinical mental health counseling, which, really I think is what I wanted to do all along, I just never knew another word for it besides psychology. I don't need a psychology degree to do what I want to do, which is mental health or marriage and family counseling. I was in a therapists office recently and I literally walked into her office and my heart skipped a beat. I wanted to work in that office and sit in her chair and do her job so badly. I wanted to BE her at that moment. That was just one of a series of occurrences recently that has led me to the conclusion that maybe this is what I'm supposed to do with the second half of my life.
So...I think maybe I'm going to give it a try. I have a really long road ahead of me if I'm going to do it. I'm going to start with a college program designed for older students who are taking a second crack at college. Starting in the fall I'm going to be taking a few classes over the next year that will fulfill the requirements that will lead me to step two, which is to start on the path to a bachelors degree in marriage and family studies.
That should take me another 3 years or so and after that I move on to step three, which is to get into a masters program for mental health counseling.
If I really do this, it's going to take me most of the next decade. It's going to be a really long road that, at the moment, kind of scares the crap out of me! I might be almost 50 by the time I'm done. But you know what, I'm going to be 50 in ten years either way. I can be 50 and still wishing I had somehow found a way to go back to school or I can be 50 with a brand new masters degree.
I honestly don't know if I can do it. I have no idea where this next adventure is going to take me. I simply committed to myself to sign up, take the first class and give it a try. I suppose there is a possibility that I'm going to take one class, hate it and quit. I have no idea what's going to happen. But there is also a possibility that I'm going to pass the first class, move on to the second one and give that one a try and keep going. Committing to a masters degree is too much for me to comprehend right now. At the moment I have found what I believe to be a realistic path to my dreams and I'm
simply committing to take the first step. One step. I can take the first step.
The adventure starts September 14th. I have the summer to get used to the idea. I'm a little terrified. Stay tuned. :)